You have a way of coming easily to me. And when you take, you take the very best of me. So I start a fight because I need to feel something. And you do what you want 'cause I'm not what you wanted.

It's not that I don't believe in love. I'm a very strong believer in it actually. I'm just deathly terrified that it doesn't believe in me.

I’m the kind of girl who is quiet in large groups or around people I don’t know; you only see the real me if we’re close. I smile and laugh a lot, especially at the most inappropriate times. I’m a hopeless romantic. I trip over air, up stairs, and over people’s feet. I am the hardest person to offend, but it is all too easy to make me feel horrible. I hate telling people about my problems; they don’t need to worry about me. I’m the one who listens to other people’s problems. I believe people should not be judged before one takes the time to get to know them, yet I am guilty of doing that exact thing. I love to think rather than talk. I’m awkward, clumsy, shy, strange… but this is me. The loneliness of my independence sinks deep into my blood. It rushes through my veins with a fever, pulsing refrain: you are alone. It whispers, you are all alone.

However it does make me doubt the idea of love. Maybe not so much that it doesn't exist but more that I may never find it. I want you to pick me up and I want to wrap my legs around your waist and I want you to kiss me on the lips and I want to nibble your bottom lip and rub my face against your cozy stubbly cheek. And I want all of this to take place in the pouring rain.
Me? I'm scared of everything. I'm scared of what I feel, of what I've said, of who I am, but most of all, I'm scared of walking out of the room and never feeling the rest of my life the way I feel when I'm with you I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.
I love going to the movies because, for two hours, you become captivated, in someone else's fairytale, almost as if it was my own.
As soon as I accept that you're gone, your back.
I flipped the cards over and saw hearts. I shuffled them and said, “I don’t deal with love.” after all this time, you'd think i wouldn't feel the same, but time doesn't stand for anything. because my feelings for you haven't changed And I feel like I feel 'cause it's cold here where you left me. You say, you say that we're all tied up and wrapped around in useless states of mind. But at the same time we're still young, we have the time to realize that we were wrong I had hope, I believed. But I'm beginning to think that I've been deceived. I want you to make the effort. I want to be sought after, irrestistibly. I want to occupy your mind, as you do mine.
I'm missing way too much, so when do I give up what I've been wishing for? Can't find another way around and I don't want to hear the sound of losing of what I never found. If I could I would shrink myself and sink through your skin to your blood cells and remove whatever makes you hurt. But I am too weak to be your cure I constantly wrap up what I really want to say in big words in metaphors because deep down, I know you still love her. "I get it. The things that you hope for most are the things that destroy you in the end." 
One day, you'll crash into this wall that you've created. My heart has been getting heavy, and I don't know what to say. It seems like everything you do just keeps pushing me away If only we could see the endless string of consequences that result from our smallest actions. But we can’t know better until knowing better is useless I would sure love believing in something that's never leaving. I'll be fine, it's not the first Just like last time, but a little worse I don't know what to make of this, so I keep moving moving moving. Because if I slow down for even one second, if I think about it too deeply for one moment too long, I'll end up right where I started. And heaven knows what could happen if I find myself there again. Excuse the wall I put it up from time to time. A silver shade, and the design is all mine. It's just a maze that everyday I seem to be stuck in. It never seems to fade away but I pray for the day it ends. I am not perfect and I don't claim to be, and if that's what you wanted well then I'm so sorry. |